" The heart is willing but the flesh is weak " -- we hear this adage very often. Jesus knowing that He was about to be betrayed and put on the cross felt alone while praying at the Garden of Gethsemane. He was placing Himself unto God's hand and would have liked to have His disciples join Him in prayer but could not wake them up.
They call it the agony in the garden where He sweated blood as He prayed to the Heavenly Father - it was the beginning of His glory.
In our life just the same, we sometimes have the same kind of feeling - that of being abandoned and forsaken even by the people closest to us. A moment of chaos not knowing what to do and desperation caused by the thoughts of being misunderstood. Yet out of the miseries comes the good - the strengthening of bonds between wife and children and the enlightenment that comes out of the experience. Its either you break apart and be led into a darker kind of life or it could a sort of re-awakening and bridging your relationship with your God. In those times of miseries I found out that the kind of l ife you lead after spelled the difference between gloom and happiness.
A lot of doors were closed as I tried to make peace with myself. I have to cut them off some ties, burn some bridges and travel a different route and make some detours. I tried to clear up some issues with my parents, my brothers and my sisters, but soon have to let go for they only see what they want to see. I love them but their version of truth doesn't leave me a comfortable seat so the best alternative for me is to allow time to patch up those misunderstandings. Maybe time will come when the tides will settle down and we could swim in the same pool they are in and worry not bringing back the ghosts of the past.
Right now I have my own family to worry about. It had been a real rough ride for all of us and we were so used to just having our noses above water, but still have high hopes that someday we'll be able to get on the high ground. There is this satisfying feeling that its really not about how much food we are able to share on the table but tasty foods are when we have some to share. We have fun licking excitement each time a better food is served that the taste lingers even to the last bite. Some people may eat better but we enjoyed the food a lot lot sweeter.
Three months with no electricity - turned out to be a real memorable experience int in the family. With no lights, no TV, no PC, we only have our corny jokes to share as we as we get ourselves ready to sleep. Hot and sweaty with no electric fans we still found some ways to get our much needed rest. Nothing beats being together. Its not really about how bad things are, its about how good react to it.
If there are shadows there must be light.
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