2017, my 58th year and what have I got show ? Still no house, no car, no money in the bank, not even a TV set at home. I can't blame my moneyed brother and sisters for thinking that my life need fixing. Can't even reason with them, or even call them to greet or something for they might think I'm asking for some more favor. Old friends and relatives ? they've heard so much negative things about me the last 20 years, I could no longer bridge the gap. Its a good thing there's Facebook to at least to make them know that I remember ...
I never knew it then but I guess I'm exactly at the place where I have been designed to be. I grew up with my grandparents in a remote barrio in Alfonso, Cavite in the early 1960's. It was about seven kilometers from the town proper and public transport passes only once every Tuesday and Thursday. The public market in Barrio Luksuhin, some 14 kilometers from our barrio is only open during those days so the only time a BLTB Bus makes a round trip pass. Travelling was mostly done on foot and if you're lucky enough to own a horse.
My grandparents were very protective of me, being the fourth child and the first son after three elder sisters. My Lola was my constant protector so while other kids my age were being taught how to farm I was taught to wash dirty clothes. While other kids help in planting, I was relegated at home prying corn from its cobs and separating peanuts from its shells for drying. Since we own the biggest parcel of land in the barrio, we almost never run out of harvest to take care of at our barn yard. There was no Lego during those days so I play with corn bits to make figures for I have no friends to play with most of the time. The other activities was doing houseworks but I don't remember getting bored with all those.
A year before schooling I was taken back by my parents to Blumentritt, Manila. They were vendors but since we occupy only a little makeshift room for the 3 of us I was like a prisoner the whole not allowed to go out to play. My world became even smaller so I learned to create a private world of my own. It was only when I started schooling that I learned how to make friends. School became a memorable place at the back of my mind - and even until now I still remember most of the names of my friends and classmates though I never got the chance to connect with them later in my life.
High school was less memorable except for the first girl I learned to fall in love with. At UST Education High School where most of my classmates were from the upper and middle class, I was like a square groove trying to fit a round hole. It was 4 years of screw ups that I would rather forget. Some 36 years later I tried connecting up with them in an organized class reunion but again I made a mess of my self. Again I disconnected myself from them, most of them are living in the high road or pretending to be there, and I don't find comfort in trying to be what I am not to be.
Worked in an Aluminum Factory after High School for a couple of years. Got a little bit of freedom after spending my younger years doing most of the houseworks - keeping the house clean, doing the dishes, laundry and pressing of clothes, and helping take care of our fruit business. At home I was the busiest guy and even have the job of taking care of my 2 youngest brothers. Actually I enjoyed doing those things, only I also got most of the scolding from my father who's not exactly an ideal guy to work with. That was mainly the reason why I opted to work so I could get away from all those scolding.
Two years of trying to support myself at college I only got to finish 28 units of Civil Engineering at Technological Institute of the Philippines (TIP). It was actually the best years of my young life. I was a bit popular at school and most of my batchmates like or at least pretended to like me. Since most of my schoolmates are from the provinces, they like to listen to my jokes and I was almost always invited to get-alongs and round of drinks.
Never wanted to be an engineer though but the thought of having the name tag was attractive enough so I opted to be one.
After graduation, I got employed as a Cadet Engineer at MWSS , passed the licensure exam after two tries and got myself promoted as section head after 7 years.
It was a promising career but my heart was not in it - can't get use to playing the crooked game of supposedly called public servants. I just couldn't fit in so I resigned on my 10th year, got into the buy and sell business and here I am now - lagging behind my contemporaries in terms of financial achievements.
Now again I asked my self --why do I feel that I am where I am suppose to be ? The best explanation I could come up with is - the Rocky I ending. Badly beaten, badly bruised and aching all over, Rocky Balboa sought the comfort of having Adrian comforting him - contented of the fact that though almost everyone gave him little chance against Apollo Creed, he lasted the distance and came a few seconds short of snatching the crown. That's how I feel right now ...
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