A trader once approached a farmer to praise him for the bountiful fruit bearing trees that abounds his land. The farmer said, " I am just a transient, God owns the land I am standing on. " Asked about the trees, the farmer said, " I am just a harvester, God owns the trees and He made it bear fruits." The trader thinking that he could get the fruits for free again asked about the bountiful harvest, and the farmer said, " You have to pay for the fruits for I own them as God had given them to me as a gift for my toils."
My grandparents, by barrio standards, owns a big track of land. The land was nearly 5 hectares of arable land suitable for most agricultural products. We have no farm hand during those days so we usually allow other farmers with no land to plant their own crops. They do all the work on the farm and we get a third of the harvest as our share as land-owner. Grandfather was friendly with them so he and I usually visit the planters and share some food with them especially the fruits we gathered from our fruit-bearing trees.
Our land was blessed with a lot of coconut trees and other fruit-bearing ones including seven gigantic mango trees that have been there for over a hundred years. Monthly harvest of coconuts, root crops and seasonal fruits are more than enough for our family's needs and my grandparents were always more than willing to share what they reap with less fortunate neighbors and relatives. My grandparents always say that everything we get from the land are gifts from God. We plant the seeds and God makes them grow. The trees grows and God made them bear fruits. And the fruits are our gifts that we earn something for, and the gains maybe ours but we should share some with others. But first we must earn them, so we could share them.
My grandfather never spent a day in school, the reason why he did not learned how to read and write. He learned about life the hard way and imparted some lessons that I was able to make good use of in my later life. He was a very good listener but not easily fooled by people who wanted to take advantage of his ignorance. He got recognized as a USAFE veteran and earned himself a monthly pension of $50 but his agent fooled him into attaching his thumbprints in some documents that allowed the guy to claim his backpays. He later figured out that he was taken advantage of but did not make much of an issue about it and instead told me that I should never use my education to enrich myself with deceit. Vengeance to him was God to take.
He taught me that trees should be pruned of excess branches so it could grow better taller and healthier to bear more fruits. I also learned from him that crops survive better if did not rain too soon after planting them. The seeds develop roots that seeks its nourishment from the soil so it goes deeper when rain does not come too early. Early rain cause the crop to have shallow roots anchored in the soil so the crops easily gets uprooted when heavy rain falls. It is similar to our life's existence, we must develop good roots so we can overcome the heavy challenges of life
And the best lesson I learned is that he may not be able to read a single sentence or recite the alphabet but he could read other people's faces and understand the messages nature sends. He can read the signs the sun and the winds that tells what type of weather is coming. He could read the message trees send to communicate when it is the right time it needs to be cultivated for bearing fruits. And he understood that what he failed to gain from educating himself he could provide so we learn in school what he failed to learn and lead a better life that what he had.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
XXIV. ADVICE FROM A DRUNK
" Alcohol provokes the desire but destroy the performance. "
I remember the scene in the movie "Unforgiven" where one of the hired killer was drinking, trying to get over his guilts, asked Clint if it was the same in the old days. Clint answered sarcastically, " I can't remember, I was drunk most of the time. " Even Barry Manilow said in a song "who could ease the pain much better than wine.
" We drink when we're happy, we drink when we're sad. " Every Irishman used to brag and there's even a story that it was a drunk who advised St. Andrew to end the game of Golf after 18 holes. The drunk said, "Since there are 18 rounds of drinks to a bottle of whisky, let us go home after 18 holes."
Wine is also called "spirit" because it brings out the other side of one's personality, usually the "Mr. Hyde part." My favorite cartoon character, Hagar The Horrible, use to say that its not because he drinks a lot of beer he has big guts, but because he has big guts so he can drink a lot beer.
One drunk reasoned out that there are more drunks in heaven than sober ones. It because when you drink, you get drunk ; when you get drunk, you go to sleep ; when you go to sleep, you commit no sin ; when you commit no sin, you go to heaven."
Some people drink because they want someone to talk to. Some don't want to talk so they drink until they get wasted. For most people, drinking is their way to socialize and have good time. And some, they drink to summon their courage to say things they could say when they are sober. But for people who have problems, they drink to drown away their sorrows.
In some unusual cases, drinking is a means of bringing out the hidden artistic attributes of some. Edgar Allan Poe wrote his famous poems and horror tales while he was drunk. So was Ambrose Bierce, a popular American writer, who writes best when he was drunk. Among local writers who were said writes better when they are drinking are Nick Joaquin and Rod Reyes.
The Prohibition Act of 1920, banning the sale of alcoholic drink, created more problems than the vice it is trying to get rid of. The illegal sale and transport of alcoholic drinks or "bootlegging" gave rise to organized crime. Mafia and gangsters like Al Capone became public figures in the prohibition era. It also phrased the idiom - "the real McCoy" - a term used by bootleggers to say that their whisky came from Edinburg distillery, G. Mackay and not a fake one.
"The Drunken Master" established Jacky Chan as an international superstar. The style is not really an exaggeration of the martial art prowess of adapting the moves of a drunk in fighting. When fighting defensively, playing possum or acting hurt, is a way to lure your opponent to attack recklessly making him open to counter moves.
Wine, liquor, drinks, or spirits, no matter what you call it, have always been a part of human history. It played a big part in the development of human culture, how they used it and how they try to cure and solve the problems it created. One relative even gave me this advice :
Wine is a good partner of every celebration. It could also be building blocks of a good friendship and some relationship. But its only good when it goes to your stomach. Once it goes to one's head, it works in reverse, for whatever you want to mend will be broken. And whatever you want to forget may turn out to be one that can't be forgotten. Just drink moderately, to double the fun, to share the joy, and not to cause any trouble.
Two drunks were arguing. The older guy said - "This is where I live." The younger guy said - " No, this is where I live." The older guy said - "You're wrong, this is my house." The younger guy countered - "You are mistaken, I live here." Then an old woman came out and said to the older guy - " Will you stop arguing and get it, and take your son with you."
I remember the scene in the movie "Unforgiven" where one of the hired killer was drinking, trying to get over his guilts, asked Clint if it was the same in the old days. Clint answered sarcastically, " I can't remember, I was drunk most of the time. " Even Barry Manilow said in a song "who could ease the pain much better than wine.
" We drink when we're happy, we drink when we're sad. " Every Irishman used to brag and there's even a story that it was a drunk who advised St. Andrew to end the game of Golf after 18 holes. The drunk said, "Since there are 18 rounds of drinks to a bottle of whisky, let us go home after 18 holes."
Wine is also called "spirit" because it brings out the other side of one's personality, usually the "Mr. Hyde part." My favorite cartoon character, Hagar The Horrible, use to say that its not because he drinks a lot of beer he has big guts, but because he has big guts so he can drink a lot beer.
One drunk reasoned out that there are more drunks in heaven than sober ones. It because when you drink, you get drunk ; when you get drunk, you go to sleep ; when you go to sleep, you commit no sin ; when you commit no sin, you go to heaven."
Some people drink because they want someone to talk to. Some don't want to talk so they drink until they get wasted. For most people, drinking is their way to socialize and have good time. And some, they drink to summon their courage to say things they could say when they are sober. But for people who have problems, they drink to drown away their sorrows.
In some unusual cases, drinking is a means of bringing out the hidden artistic attributes of some. Edgar Allan Poe wrote his famous poems and horror tales while he was drunk. So was Ambrose Bierce, a popular American writer, who writes best when he was drunk. Among local writers who were said writes better when they are drinking are Nick Joaquin and Rod Reyes.
The Prohibition Act of 1920, banning the sale of alcoholic drink, created more problems than the vice it is trying to get rid of. The illegal sale and transport of alcoholic drinks or "bootlegging" gave rise to organized crime. Mafia and gangsters like Al Capone became public figures in the prohibition era. It also phrased the idiom - "the real McCoy" - a term used by bootleggers to say that their whisky came from Edinburg distillery, G. Mackay and not a fake one.
"The Drunken Master" established Jacky Chan as an international superstar. The style is not really an exaggeration of the martial art prowess of adapting the moves of a drunk in fighting. When fighting defensively, playing possum or acting hurt, is a way to lure your opponent to attack recklessly making him open to counter moves.
Wine, liquor, drinks, or spirits, no matter what you call it, have always been a part of human history. It played a big part in the development of human culture, how they used it and how they try to cure and solve the problems it created. One relative even gave me this advice :
Wine is a good partner of every celebration. It could also be building blocks of a good friendship and some relationship. But its only good when it goes to your stomach. Once it goes to one's head, it works in reverse, for whatever you want to mend will be broken. And whatever you want to forget may turn out to be one that can't be forgotten. Just drink moderately, to double the fun, to share the joy, and not to cause any trouble.
Two drunks were arguing. The older guy said - "This is where I live." The younger guy said - " No, this is where I live." The older guy said - "You're wrong, this is my house." The younger guy countered - "You are mistaken, I live here." Then an old woman came out and said to the older guy - " Will you stop arguing and get it, and take your son with you."
Saturday, February 25, 2017
XXIII. SINNER OR SAINTS
Frankly, its more fun to be a sinner. My younger days were written in wine, whoring and smoke. High school days were quite boring since I was like square grove trying to fit into a round hole. Then I came to know my cousins and my world was never the same again. Pure blooded Cavitenos, most of them spoiled and street smart. Never got into drugs though, tried smoking weed several times but I was so unlike my cousins and friends - I felt stupid getting high on something that could lead to graver things. I wanted to belong so I gave it a try for I knew then that I could never get them to "get high " reading high adventures like "Papillon" and "Jonathan Livinstone Seagull". Teen years was so exciting, we thought of nothing but having fun, and after graduating from college it was time to find new friends and different kind of fun.
Found work easily, a good salary, and plenty of new friends to have fun with. It was a continuation of my sinning years but to a higher degree since we have more money to burn. Most of us were single so we spent our nights wining and whoring around. I gave gambling a try but I was not good at it, so after losing 3 weeks salary in a single night I promised myself that I would never again hold cards in my hands. There were about 20 of us, former cadet engineers who were waiting for new job assignment after the old Marcos projects were scrapped by the new administration. It was a four year wait next to doing nothing, but the management was not willing to let us go since we were sort of highly trained for construction. We were looked upon as egoistic brats in the office, despised by old timers, receiving salaries higher than most of them but unproductive. It was not our fault though since the new government seemed to be more interested in villifying the old regime rather than serving the people's interest.
To make a long story short, I got married at the age of 27, the first one among my batchmates. Most of my friends opted to work overseas, while I quit work and tried my hand in the bookselling business. It was a complete turn around from my old world, dropped the wining and the night fun activities and devoted my time to build a new world with my partner. From sinner to saint, a lot of people just won't believe, but after a year of marriage I learned that having fun is different from having happiness. I became detached and led a solitary way of life minding only my business and my immediate family. Some misunderstanding with my siblings led me farther away but when you're at the right place where you have long wanted to be, life takes its own roots.
Maybe I got this all from my grandmother - she doesn't mind the other side - as long as she have what she need. She rarely steeped outside of their apartment for she knew that my grandfather will always be there to take of her needs. No worries, no jealousy, no problems, - she was a queen to my grandfather, yet grandpa never thought of himself as a king but a mere "hand of the queen." She knew that I love her and when she became bed ridden, she assured me that I need not bother about her since I was no doctor who can offer a cure, just a loving grandson she could call any time and would grieve when she is gone. My grandfather was completely devoted to her, so it never surprised me when he died a year later without any sign of sickness.
I have been married now for almost 30 years, living the kind of life my grandparents did, but blessed with more kids to share our life with. I cannot claim to be an ideal husband but just a simple happy one who's only claim for being the master of the house is the TV's remote control. I may not always prevail which TV program to watch but at least I hold the remote control and only I is empowered to switch on the channel.
Its a lot harder to stay on the right road than losing your way once in a while, but once you're used to it, its more fun than being in the sinner's path.
The rule is simple - if a relationship is to be kept a secret, then you should not be in it. Second, if what you would do needs an explanation, then don't do it. And third, if something goes wrong, no need to point fingers and ask why, just pick up where you left off and move on. And lastly, there are problems and there are real problems. When there's a solution, its not a problem. If things could not be remedied, then pray and just learn to live with it.
Thursday, February 23, 2017
XXII. PAIN AND FEAR GOES TOGETHER
" Muhammad Ali didn't punish me that much, but he knocked me out ! " George Foreman said in his interview after regaining the World Heavyweight Title from Michael Moorer at the age of 45. Watching again for the nth time how he became the oldest man ever to win the heavyweight title bring back memories of how things did not work out for him against an ageing Muhammad Ali. Without that upset win, heavyweight boxing would have been boring for nobody, not even Mike Tyson, would have beaten himin his prime. Don King would hear none of it, fitting Tyson against Foreman even when the latter suffered loses against Holyfield and another "great white hope Morrison".
One thing missing in Foreman's fight against Muhammad Ali was the fear factor - he thought Ali could not hurt him. From his own admission, he said he kept saying to himself that he just ran out of wind and Ali never hurt him. However, in his interview at the program 700 Club after he won the title from Michael Moorer, he laughingly admitted that it was a right hand that put him down for good. He was just so over confident, having tasted leather from stronger punchers and making mince meat out of Frazier and Norton, that the Ali fight would just be another million dollar pay check for bigger fights.
Muhammad Ali said, on the other hand, that it would be stupid not to fear the like of George Foreman. But he too was confident that he could out smart him in some way, tire him out since Ali knows that Foreman's stamina was yet to be tested in combat. And of course he also knew that for that big win to happen he must be able to handle a lot of pain. He trained harder than any of his previous fights. made other all people believe even his handlers that he would dance all night and go back to his old style - " float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" - but deep inside he knew he no longer have that old spring in his legs. One thing a fighter see that no other people see outside the ring, is the eyes of his opponent. He also feels the changes the way he breath, the lessening sting in the punches, and the sense of frustration when he is unable to mow you down. That's when your hours of training pays off. your instinct will dictate when to strike at the right moment.
" Every fisherman knows the danger that awaits them when they sail the deep sea, yet everyday they go fishing. " said Vincent Van Gohn. Courage they say is not the absence of fear but our ability to overcome it. Training ourselves to handle the pains prepares us to face those fears. Every experienced hunter will tell you - a lion won't attack its target unless it is running away, it waits until fear overcomes its prey.
" He who could not endure the bad will not live long to enjoy the good. "
-- Yiddish Proverb
" Fear can keep us up all night long but faith makes on fine pillow."
-- Philip Gulley
" People sleep well at night only because there are men who are stand up to do
violence on their behalf. " -- George Orwell
" No man can tame a tiger into a kitten by stroking it. " -- F.D. Roosevelt
" In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always win,
- not through strength but by perseverance. "
-- H. Jackson
" Force no matter how concealed, begets resistance. " -- Lakota proverb
" If they make a better shield, we make sharper spear. " -- Zulu proverb
" A tree grows strong by holding itself against the wind.
Life is what we do when we are young. If you don't sweat
when you are young, you will beg when you are old. "
-- Ewe proverb
" Competition is a painful thing but it produces great results."
-- Jerry Flint
" I'm a little wounded but I am not slain ;
I will lay me down for to bleed for a while ;
Then I will rise and fight you again. -- John Dryden
" What count is not the size of the dog in a fight -
its the size of the fight in the dog that counts. " -- Dwight Eisenhower
" Its not dying for one country that wins war : its having the the
other poor bastard die for their country that wins war. "
-- Gen, George Patton
" When you see a wall, find a way to go through it,
if you cannot find a way to go around it. " -- Michael jordan
" You can build a throne out of bayonets,
but you can't sit on it. -- Gerald Hachman
" It is not power that corrupt but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts
those who wield it, and fear of the scourge of power corrupts
those who are subject to it. "
-- Aung San Suu Kyi
" Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand,
the spines of others are stiffened. "
-- Billy Graham
" Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed."
-- E. L.
" Fear is your best friend. It teaches you how to fight,
and it teaches you how to win. " -- Rocky Balboa
One thing missing in Foreman's fight against Muhammad Ali was the fear factor - he thought Ali could not hurt him. From his own admission, he said he kept saying to himself that he just ran out of wind and Ali never hurt him. However, in his interview at the program 700 Club after he won the title from Michael Moorer, he laughingly admitted that it was a right hand that put him down for good. He was just so over confident, having tasted leather from stronger punchers and making mince meat out of Frazier and Norton, that the Ali fight would just be another million dollar pay check for bigger fights.
Muhammad Ali said, on the other hand, that it would be stupid not to fear the like of George Foreman. But he too was confident that he could out smart him in some way, tire him out since Ali knows that Foreman's stamina was yet to be tested in combat. And of course he also knew that for that big win to happen he must be able to handle a lot of pain. He trained harder than any of his previous fights. made other all people believe even his handlers that he would dance all night and go back to his old style - " float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" - but deep inside he knew he no longer have that old spring in his legs. One thing a fighter see that no other people see outside the ring, is the eyes of his opponent. He also feels the changes the way he breath, the lessening sting in the punches, and the sense of frustration when he is unable to mow you down. That's when your hours of training pays off. your instinct will dictate when to strike at the right moment.
" Every fisherman knows the danger that awaits them when they sail the deep sea, yet everyday they go fishing. " said Vincent Van Gohn. Courage they say is not the absence of fear but our ability to overcome it. Training ourselves to handle the pains prepares us to face those fears. Every experienced hunter will tell you - a lion won't attack its target unless it is running away, it waits until fear overcomes its prey.
" He who could not endure the bad will not live long to enjoy the good. "
-- Yiddish Proverb
" Fear can keep us up all night long but faith makes on fine pillow."
-- Philip Gulley
" People sleep well at night only because there are men who are stand up to do
violence on their behalf. " -- George Orwell
" No man can tame a tiger into a kitten by stroking it. " -- F.D. Roosevelt
" In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always win,
- not through strength but by perseverance. "
-- H. Jackson
" Force no matter how concealed, begets resistance. " -- Lakota proverb
" If they make a better shield, we make sharper spear. " -- Zulu proverb
" A tree grows strong by holding itself against the wind.
Life is what we do when we are young. If you don't sweat
when you are young, you will beg when you are old. "
-- Ewe proverb
" Competition is a painful thing but it produces great results."
-- Jerry Flint
" I'm a little wounded but I am not slain ;
I will lay me down for to bleed for a while ;
Then I will rise and fight you again. -- John Dryden
" What count is not the size of the dog in a fight -
its the size of the fight in the dog that counts. " -- Dwight Eisenhower
" Its not dying for one country that wins war : its having the the
other poor bastard die for their country that wins war. "
-- Gen, George Patton
" When you see a wall, find a way to go through it,
if you cannot find a way to go around it. " -- Michael jordan
" You can build a throne out of bayonets,
but you can't sit on it. -- Gerald Hachman
" It is not power that corrupt but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts
those who wield it, and fear of the scourge of power corrupts
those who are subject to it. "
-- Aung San Suu Kyi
" Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand,
the spines of others are stiffened. "
-- Billy Graham
" Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed."
-- E. L.
" Fear is your best friend. It teaches you how to fight,
and it teaches you how to win. " -- Rocky Balboa
Sunday, February 19, 2017
XXI. HAKUNA MATATA : IT MEANS NO WORRY
"Hakuna Matata", what a wonderful phrase. It means no worries, for the rest of your days. Its a problem free philosophy, when the world turn its back on you, you turn your back against the world. It was Timon and Pumba's way of living a happy life until they stumbled upon a young Simba, whom they will soon help to take back the kingdom his evil uncle Scar took away from his father, Mufasa, the Lion King.
Its easy to lose your self in the city, so crowded, so many people, so many choices. But its a lot easier to be alone, you can choose the people you can blend with as well as those you can ignore. Unlike in the village where you have to know everybody and be nice to everybody, in the city its okay for you not to know your neighbors. You just pretend that you didn't notice their faces as you passes by, or you don't go out of your apartment like my grandmother did in her last ten years of life. Grandpa was her world, the windows her only means to see the other side of it, and we and some other relative visitors to connect with.
My grandparents decided to sell everything they own in the barrio to help my mother, their only daughter, build a home of our own in the city. My grandmother was turning 70 when they moved to the city, living with us under the same roof, happy for each and everyone of us, but not used to not being the master of the house. She never developed the fondness for television, or to a crowded home, so they asked to move to one of the apartment we rent out so she and grandpa could have more privacy. I did not move with them but I stayed there most of the time to run errands. Later, they took in some relatives as boarders so they could have some extra money for their expenses.
Every evening was story telling time at their place, with almost all the boarders at home from work, most of them nieces and nephews of my grandparents. I was a teenager then, I listen to them for some wisdom and I took care of the comedy part of the conversations. Grandma always have something for me, and my uncles usually treat me to free movies and food. It was the best treat I had in my young days, a short stop after I have finished my chores at home, where I never get to watch what I wanted on TV anyway. When grandma got sick, Mom decided to have me stay with them. To them, I was more like a son they never had.
My grandma was bedridden for almost two, unable to stand up, but able to sit down by the window. her only connection to the world out side. The city was alien to her, she was happy with Grandpa doing everything for her, me to run errands, our family to cheer her up from time time, and relatives who visited her to remind her that she was a good person. She said she she needed little to get by, simple needs and simple desires, so why bother about worrying about other things. She was sick and I was no doctor, so I need not worry about her 'cause I could do nothing to ease her pains. She tried hard not to show her anguish especially at night so she would not disrupt my sleep, but I know she was hurting since grandpa was always awake by her side caressing her to ease her pains. She too was grandpa's life, and I felt how lost he was when grandma died.
Grandma saw that each of us, one by one were doing good, getting the education we need. I was assigned to work on a job site over a hundred kilometers away, with no means of communication except short wave radio, so there was no way they could have told me that grandma was dying. I go home every two weeks after payday but one Wednesday morning while supervising some excavation near the access road I just felt the urge of coming home. I was in my working clothes, the town proper was 30 kilometers away from our job site, and there was no more room inside the Land Cruiser so I have to ride on the hood. On town while marketing for our supplies, I asked a friend to fill in for my absence and I caught a bus on my way home. When I reached home, my Mom was surprised to see me, cried and told me that grandma just died. It might been just a coincidence but it struck me real hard - she wanted me to be there before she goes. I was just a few minutes late.
Grandpa took her death mildly, feeling relieved that her pains had finally ended. I asked to be re-assigned to our main office so at least he could have someone close to look after him. The same thing he said - no need to worry - I could keep him company that only he could heal his loneliness. He doesn't want to be a burden and everyday when I go home I usually find him sitting by the window quietly. We talk some but the evenings were usually quiet with me trying to catch some sleep and he trying the same. A month short of one year, grandpa too died, maybe more out of loneliness than anything else.
Worrying is nonsense - things happen for a reason, and bad things usually don't last long. Grandma have taught me well - how to clean the house, do laundry, mend my clothes, and other home and farm activities without getting bored. Doing things out of obligations will always be like dragging a sack full of rice, boring and tiring, but once you learn how to love whatever you are doing, your mind is free to think of other things. I may have swayed a bit in my younger days, but I am right where I should be. Handling every hardships and problems that come my way but always making sure that no matter what, the people around, my family, are happy that I am still with them.
Its easy to lose your self in the city, so crowded, so many people, so many choices. But its a lot easier to be alone, you can choose the people you can blend with as well as those you can ignore. Unlike in the village where you have to know everybody and be nice to everybody, in the city its okay for you not to know your neighbors. You just pretend that you didn't notice their faces as you passes by, or you don't go out of your apartment like my grandmother did in her last ten years of life. Grandpa was her world, the windows her only means to see the other side of it, and we and some other relative visitors to connect with.
My grandparents decided to sell everything they own in the barrio to help my mother, their only daughter, build a home of our own in the city. My grandmother was turning 70 when they moved to the city, living with us under the same roof, happy for each and everyone of us, but not used to not being the master of the house. She never developed the fondness for television, or to a crowded home, so they asked to move to one of the apartment we rent out so she and grandpa could have more privacy. I did not move with them but I stayed there most of the time to run errands. Later, they took in some relatives as boarders so they could have some extra money for their expenses.
Every evening was story telling time at their place, with almost all the boarders at home from work, most of them nieces and nephews of my grandparents. I was a teenager then, I listen to them for some wisdom and I took care of the comedy part of the conversations. Grandma always have something for me, and my uncles usually treat me to free movies and food. It was the best treat I had in my young days, a short stop after I have finished my chores at home, where I never get to watch what I wanted on TV anyway. When grandma got sick, Mom decided to have me stay with them. To them, I was more like a son they never had.
My grandma was bedridden for almost two, unable to stand up, but able to sit down by the window. her only connection to the world out side. The city was alien to her, she was happy with Grandpa doing everything for her, me to run errands, our family to cheer her up from time time, and relatives who visited her to remind her that she was a good person. She said she she needed little to get by, simple needs and simple desires, so why bother about worrying about other things. She was sick and I was no doctor, so I need not worry about her 'cause I could do nothing to ease her pains. She tried hard not to show her anguish especially at night so she would not disrupt my sleep, but I know she was hurting since grandpa was always awake by her side caressing her to ease her pains. She too was grandpa's life, and I felt how lost he was when grandma died.
Grandma saw that each of us, one by one were doing good, getting the education we need. I was assigned to work on a job site over a hundred kilometers away, with no means of communication except short wave radio, so there was no way they could have told me that grandma was dying. I go home every two weeks after payday but one Wednesday morning while supervising some excavation near the access road I just felt the urge of coming home. I was in my working clothes, the town proper was 30 kilometers away from our job site, and there was no more room inside the Land Cruiser so I have to ride on the hood. On town while marketing for our supplies, I asked a friend to fill in for my absence and I caught a bus on my way home. When I reached home, my Mom was surprised to see me, cried and told me that grandma just died. It might been just a coincidence but it struck me real hard - she wanted me to be there before she goes. I was just a few minutes late.
Grandpa took her death mildly, feeling relieved that her pains had finally ended. I asked to be re-assigned to our main office so at least he could have someone close to look after him. The same thing he said - no need to worry - I could keep him company that only he could heal his loneliness. He doesn't want to be a burden and everyday when I go home I usually find him sitting by the window quietly. We talk some but the evenings were usually quiet with me trying to catch some sleep and he trying the same. A month short of one year, grandpa too died, maybe more out of loneliness than anything else.
Worrying is nonsense - things happen for a reason, and bad things usually don't last long. Grandma have taught me well - how to clean the house, do laundry, mend my clothes, and other home and farm activities without getting bored. Doing things out of obligations will always be like dragging a sack full of rice, boring and tiring, but once you learn how to love whatever you are doing, your mind is free to think of other things. I may have swayed a bit in my younger days, but I am right where I should be. Handling every hardships and problems that come my way but always making sure that no matter what, the people around, my family, are happy that I am still with them.
Friday, February 17, 2017
XX. NO READ, NO WRITE, YET HE TAUGHT ME A LOTe
I grew up with my grandparents. My grandfather, born in 1912, was a farmer and he never learned how to read and write. My parents were in the city working and I only got to live with them when I started going to school. I lost my grandparents almost 40 years ago, and yet the lessons I learned from them are still fresh in my memories especially now that I too is in my twilight years.
The time was in the 1960's, and the farm was the only world I knew then. Our farm was situated some 7 kilometers from the town proper, and you have to walk the distance if you want a haircut or something. The market place was open only twice a week so my grandfather have to buy a week's supply of food and other needs. But he always buy twice more than what we need of sugar, salt, bar soap, and some other things. We were quite well off compared to our neighbors and my grandparents love to share whatever we have that others lacked. We have the best farm lot in the barrio and our produce were more than enough for the family so it was open to all relatives who come in need of something.
My grandfather was a hardworking man, and being uneducated, he like to listen to people who have some stories to tell. We get most of the stories from the a lottery type gambling collector called Jueteng since he walked through the barrio to the town proper everyday to collect bets and remit them to their gambling head. Every late afternoon he was waved by my grandfather for some "merienda" and we get to listen to his fascinating stories he gathered. Grandpa listened attentively to all his stories, amused but not exactly believing all of them - he just wanted to be updated on what's going on in the the other parts of the town. Once the visitor has left, he would recall some of the stories to me and say his piece about some of them. The stories mostly come from other people, while the lessons I learn from him almost all came from his example.
One day after we finished planting peanuts he got some seeds left, threw and spread them in the fields. I asked why and he told me it was for the birds so they won't dig up what we have planted. Each time we gather fruits from our trees he also leave some fruits for the birds and some on the ground for other animal scavengers. He said that God gave us plenty so we have to share them with other creatures that He made. Grandpa said he only planted the trees but it was God who made it grow and bear fruit.
He once saw a retarded child being fed by its mother and asked to himself how could parents love that child. Years later, my grandmother bore a girl who was paralyzed neck down. They loved and cared for the child until her death some seven years later and he told me that was how he got the valuable reason of how we should cherish life no matter how it was given to you. They were soon blessed with another girl, their only child, who later became my mother.
But I guess the most valuable lesson he imparted with me was trying to bring to bring happiness to the people he loved. He loved my mother so much that he willingly sold everything they have to provide us a home in the city. He and my grandmother were forced to abandon the life they have known since childhood and lived with us in the city where things were so unfamiliar to them. My parents were burdened with educating all the eight of us so my grandfather with only a $50 pension to live with have to find other ways to earn extra. My grandmother rarely stepped out of their apartment just watching the world go by through the window but never have I seen her in a sorrowful mood since grandpa took care of everything for her.
My grandfather swept the streets and earned extra from the sidewalk vendors' tip for taking care of their garbage for them. He didn't mind getting his hands dirty, he has to provide my grandma with some extra money since she was used to giving and it was a tradition for elders to give some fare money to relatives who come to visit her. In fairness, most of her relatives visit her to show gratitude for the things they did to them, and my grandparents always leave their door open. I lived with them until their dying days, and though I seldom hear them talk to each other I always felt the warmth of their relationship.
My grandfather died almost exactly a year after my grandmother passed away. He was in good health but succumbed to cardiac arrest the doctors said but I'm sure that he died of a broken heart. Grandma was his life, the only life he knew, Mom was about to migrate to Canada with my father and other siblings and he doesn't want to be in the way.
He never asked me to teach him to read and write, he just wanted to listen to my stories. I told him stories, jokes, gossips, anything as long as I keep on talking he listened and each time I got something from him. But I got more from him than the extra pesos he slipped in my pocket - he gave the kind of life I have always wanted. I have five kids and a wife and plenty of love to share about ...
XX. FRANK SINATRA CANNOT SING ...
In the bestselling book by Kitty Kelly - " His Way : The Unauthorized Biography of Frank Sinatra ", an interesting anecdote showed Frank's true character as an aspiring singer who sincerely wanted to improve his craft. Sinatra had been unsuccessfully hopping from one night spot to another for about ten years in his early career as a professional singer, hoping for a talent scout to give him a much needed break.
Then one night, a voice teacher spotted him, listening how well he was able to dish out some ballads, decided to wait for him to give Frank a piece of advice. The voice teacher told Frank that he has a good voice but he still doesn't know how to sing. Instead of feeling offended, Frank decided to heed the old man's advice and took singing lessons.
He developed his own style, dropping the Bing Crosby songs and later became a bigger star his idol. And the rest is history ...
Frank Sinatra did stop there, even when he was lording it over in the music world he was still open to some suggestions. He acted on movies and starred in most of them but willingly played supporting lead to Burt Lancaster in the movie " From Here to Eternity" where he won the Oscar Award. His career also suffered some downturns that he decided to have a friend compose a song " My Way " as farewell to his fans but instead revived his stars in Hollywood. He was an example of a star who never rested on his laurels, lived his life the way he wanted, gave some and took some, for the betterment of his goals.
Criticisms - solitary shots should be ignored, but when they come from several directions, its time to pay attention. As someone once said : " If one calls you a donkey, ignore him ! If two calls you a donkey, check your hoof prints. If three call you a donkey, get a saddle. " ( from Marshall Shelley ).
Here are some interesting food for thought about criticisms :
" The trouble with an "open Mind", of course, is that people will insist on coming along
and try to put things in it. "
-- Terry Pranchett
" Most people don't mind criticisms, as long as its about someone else. "
-- Susan Weiner
" If you accept the expectations of others, especially the negative ones, then you will
never change the outcome. "
-- Michael Jordan
" Critics are like eunuchs - they how it is done, they see how it is done, but they just
can't do it. "
" Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes."
-- Antisthenes
Then one night, a voice teacher spotted him, listening how well he was able to dish out some ballads, decided to wait for him to give Frank a piece of advice. The voice teacher told Frank that he has a good voice but he still doesn't know how to sing. Instead of feeling offended, Frank decided to heed the old man's advice and took singing lessons.
He developed his own style, dropping the Bing Crosby songs and later became a bigger star his idol. And the rest is history ...
Frank Sinatra did stop there, even when he was lording it over in the music world he was still open to some suggestions. He acted on movies and starred in most of them but willingly played supporting lead to Burt Lancaster in the movie " From Here to Eternity" where he won the Oscar Award. His career also suffered some downturns that he decided to have a friend compose a song " My Way " as farewell to his fans but instead revived his stars in Hollywood. He was an example of a star who never rested on his laurels, lived his life the way he wanted, gave some and took some, for the betterment of his goals.
Criticisms - solitary shots should be ignored, but when they come from several directions, its time to pay attention. As someone once said : " If one calls you a donkey, ignore him ! If two calls you a donkey, check your hoof prints. If three call you a donkey, get a saddle. " ( from Marshall Shelley ).
Here are some interesting food for thought about criticisms :
" The trouble with an "open Mind", of course, is that people will insist on coming along
and try to put things in it. "
-- Terry Pranchett
" Most people don't mind criticisms, as long as its about someone else. "
-- Susan Weiner
" If you accept the expectations of others, especially the negative ones, then you will
never change the outcome. "
-- Michael Jordan
" Critics are like eunuchs - they how it is done, they see how it is done, but they just
can't do it. "
" Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes."
-- Antisthenes
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