Wednesday, October 5, 2016
XVI. FAMILY FACES ARE MAGIC MIRRORS
SUCCESS can be viewed in two ways - how others see us and how we see ourselves. Family faces - that of our parents, brothers and sisters, and relatives provides us with a magic mirrors, looking at this people who belong to us, we see the past, the present, and the future. Their gaze gives us a clue of how we are to them, someone to be proud of or someone who drags down the family's pride. From their eyes you'll see how you rate up to their standards. Sometimes things just don't happen the way we wanted things to become and no amount of explanation will suffice for they will only see the things they wanted to see.
This is when you have to decide, whether to try it their way and receive the harsh words and cold shoulder treatment when you fail to live up to their expectations, or whether to live the way you wanted to live. Sometimes you really have to learn things the hard way ... that of living the real life you wanted even if it means you have to cut some ties. There is nothing wrong with pursuing their dreams but once you see that you are not really cut out for it you will never get the kind of satisfaction, the real feel of having a life, and the real joy of love and loving.
I have done my part, tried to reach out, but the hope that things would one day clear out the misunderstanding have faded and it would be more convenient for all of us to move on and live our own separate lives. The upside of it is that I could have the chance to wipe clean the past and start on a clean slate for my kids. With better understanding and better education they could begin with themselves and avoid the mistakes we made and live a more harmonious life.
Friday, September 9, 2016
XV. ADOPT A PROBLEM-FREE PHILOSOPHY, HAKUNA MATATA
In the movie " The Bridge of Spies " Tom Hanks was surprised by his client's remark after he said that he could face death penalty for espionage - will worrying help ? The odds are all stacked up against him but he knows that he could not do anything other than waiting for the wheels of justice to grind, so why worry.
In another Clark Gable movie whose title I could no longer remember, there's also a submarine scene where Gable asked a shipmate how come he's so cool while the enemy is detonating bombs. I remember him saying - " well, if the bombs are dropped far enough not to do any damage then we have nothing to worry about. But if the bomb is detonated near enough then it can damage the submarine so we have to check how bad the damage is. If the damage could be repaired then we have nothing to worry about. However if its a direct hit, the damage would sink us to the bottom and we have to worry if we could still get out before we're trapped inside. If we're trapped then we have nothing more to worry about 'cause we'll gonna die anyway. So what is there to worry about ? "
But the Hakuna Matata scene in the animated movie - " The Lion King " tops them all. When the world turn its back on you you turn your back against the world. The worry free philosophy actually is taught in almost all religion including Christianity. The Bible quoted that " the birds, they neither sow nor harvest but they are provided for by the Lord. What more us men for God love us more. And could life be prolonged by worrying ? " The other oriental beliefs teaches that we should always do our best, and then allow nature to take its own course. All of them teaches that death is not the end of everything but merely a beginning of a new life in another world.
Bob Hope said that there are 3 kinds of people. First are people who make things happen. Second are the people who watch things happen. And third are the people who ask " what happened ? ". Some narrowed it down to two types - those who take charge and those who are taken advantage of. But no matter how you see people, or how you view life, you can' waste your life away worrying about the bad things that may happen. Most of them doesn't happen anyway - and suppose they do happen, you have no choice but to deal with them. So why worry ?
In another Clark Gable movie whose title I could no longer remember, there's also a submarine scene where Gable asked a shipmate how come he's so cool while the enemy is detonating bombs. I remember him saying - " well, if the bombs are dropped far enough not to do any damage then we have nothing to worry about. But if the bomb is detonated near enough then it can damage the submarine so we have to check how bad the damage is. If the damage could be repaired then we have nothing to worry about. However if its a direct hit, the damage would sink us to the bottom and we have to worry if we could still get out before we're trapped inside. If we're trapped then we have nothing more to worry about 'cause we'll gonna die anyway. So what is there to worry about ? "
But the Hakuna Matata scene in the animated movie - " The Lion King " tops them all. When the world turn its back on you you turn your back against the world. The worry free philosophy actually is taught in almost all religion including Christianity. The Bible quoted that " the birds, they neither sow nor harvest but they are provided for by the Lord. What more us men for God love us more. And could life be prolonged by worrying ? " The other oriental beliefs teaches that we should always do our best, and then allow nature to take its own course. All of them teaches that death is not the end of everything but merely a beginning of a new life in another world.
Bob Hope said that there are 3 kinds of people. First are people who make things happen. Second are the people who watch things happen. And third are the people who ask " what happened ? ". Some narrowed it down to two types - those who take charge and those who are taken advantage of. But no matter how you see people, or how you view life, you can' waste your life away worrying about the bad things that may happen. Most of them doesn't happen anyway - and suppose they do happen, you have no choice but to deal with them. So why worry ?
Thursday, September 8, 2016
XIV. WHICH IS IT ? YOUR PROBLEM OR HIS PROBLEM ?
One of the usual cause of stress is because we worry too much. Most often we are stressed by other people's problem because we can't even distinguish which is which, our problem or other people's problem. A very good example is when we try to please other people by trying to be what they want us to be. But its actually their problem if they can't like you the way you are for you are just being you, so its actually their problem if they don't like you. If it so happen that you share some space with them, some chores with them, or some work with, be your self and let them handle the stress.
Parents usually are the most guilty about this things - they think you are the extension of their dreams. They think that since you are their children you should be thankful that you were given life and that you are obliged to follow their will on what to do with your life. Yet there are times when what they want is not what you want so you ran into conflict and at times made to feel the guilt of disobeying their wishes. In reality if they can't learn to let you go then that's their problem and not your problem. We only came through them and not from them - its God who decides who we should be, who our parents would be, what place and time, practically everything - so its not really our problem who and what we should really be. Life is just like connecting the dots, the last dot will define what kind of life we have lived. We just have to seek our own destiny.
I am not telling you guys that we should be bullheaded or we should disobey our parents. We should love and respect them, honor them for their sacrifices. But if it would mean living our life for them instead of our own, then we are not doing what we are destined to be. There are many ways of repaying them but being an extension of their dreams is certainly not one of them. To be in a life of not your own design is like being in prison with strings attached to move the way the puppet-master weave. Tell me, what would have become of Manny Pacquiao had he followed the wishes of her mother ? In his own words, maybe just a fisherman or a farmer or a bum living in the streets.
So the next time around try and figure out whose problem is it. If you love someone but she doesn't love you back and gets irritated when you ogle and follow her around, then that's her problem not yours. You just love loving her, if things doesn't work out just continue what you're doing until you find another love - she might even miss you when you're no longer around and again that's her problem. You can't understand what your teacher is teaching you, you tried but you just can't, then that's your teacher's problem 'cause maybe he's a lousy teacher. He should find ways to go down to your level and start from your level of understanding. If things still can't work out, then you can shift course or study other things. Remember, all the teachers of Albert Einstein in grade school thought he was stupid and hopeless but now the world remember Einstein and no one gives a damn what happened to his teachers.
If you can't understand your wife, then that's not a problem. Nobody really understand a woman - thousands of years have passed, but you still have to find one good analyst who can figure out what really goes inside a woman's mind. If you love your woman then she'll love you back so where's the problem. If your kids can't understand you, and you can't understand them, that's not really a problem. Families becomes real families when they solve problems together - as long as you do things because you love them, they will soon figure out what you are trying to do - just have faith, move on and wait. God will take of the rest so where's the problem ?
You're working hard but still you can't get out of the slump, still buried in debt, and people look down on you for being a failure - but come to think of it, what really is the problem ? You're alive, you enjoy life with your wife and kids, and the kids are doing fine and will soon graduate and have a life of their own. The problem is that your brothers and sisters who are living a secured life are disappointed with you, so with your parents. Your a pain-in-the-ass and at times a parasite to them, but you know that there are times when you just run out of alternative and have to ask for their help in order to get things through. So they say they worry about you but sometimes words meant to advise hurt because indeed you are what they say you are. But is that really a problem ? You feel hurt but those words were really meant to hurt to wake you up about the situation you're in. You only hope that maybe if they'd only understand the situation they would have said those things. Just stop fooling your self, the money they gave to help you was hard-earned and were meant for them, - you caused them a problem and you have to take the hurt. You thanked them with all you heart but they still aren't convinced, so it no longer becomes your problem if they can't feel your sincerity.
The point I am trying to make is that there really is no problem that truly exist in this world. There are problems but there are also real problems - but once you are able able to connect your self with your God there is no problem, only test of will and test of faith that will only give you the clues on which dots comes next. I am at a lost on how to explain the things I wanted to say - you need to experience how it is -to be on the ropes receiving all the blows directed on you and survive to fight another round. That's when the real excitement begins ...
Parents usually are the most guilty about this things - they think you are the extension of their dreams. They think that since you are their children you should be thankful that you were given life and that you are obliged to follow their will on what to do with your life. Yet there are times when what they want is not what you want so you ran into conflict and at times made to feel the guilt of disobeying their wishes. In reality if they can't learn to let you go then that's their problem and not your problem. We only came through them and not from them - its God who decides who we should be, who our parents would be, what place and time, practically everything - so its not really our problem who and what we should really be. Life is just like connecting the dots, the last dot will define what kind of life we have lived. We just have to seek our own destiny.
I am not telling you guys that we should be bullheaded or we should disobey our parents. We should love and respect them, honor them for their sacrifices. But if it would mean living our life for them instead of our own, then we are not doing what we are destined to be. There are many ways of repaying them but being an extension of their dreams is certainly not one of them. To be in a life of not your own design is like being in prison with strings attached to move the way the puppet-master weave. Tell me, what would have become of Manny Pacquiao had he followed the wishes of her mother ? In his own words, maybe just a fisherman or a farmer or a bum living in the streets.
So the next time around try and figure out whose problem is it. If you love someone but she doesn't love you back and gets irritated when you ogle and follow her around, then that's her problem not yours. You just love loving her, if things doesn't work out just continue what you're doing until you find another love - she might even miss you when you're no longer around and again that's her problem. You can't understand what your teacher is teaching you, you tried but you just can't, then that's your teacher's problem 'cause maybe he's a lousy teacher. He should find ways to go down to your level and start from your level of understanding. If things still can't work out, then you can shift course or study other things. Remember, all the teachers of Albert Einstein in grade school thought he was stupid and hopeless but now the world remember Einstein and no one gives a damn what happened to his teachers.
If you can't understand your wife, then that's not a problem. Nobody really understand a woman - thousands of years have passed, but you still have to find one good analyst who can figure out what really goes inside a woman's mind. If you love your woman then she'll love you back so where's the problem. If your kids can't understand you, and you can't understand them, that's not really a problem. Families becomes real families when they solve problems together - as long as you do things because you love them, they will soon figure out what you are trying to do - just have faith, move on and wait. God will take of the rest so where's the problem ?
You're working hard but still you can't get out of the slump, still buried in debt, and people look down on you for being a failure - but come to think of it, what really is the problem ? You're alive, you enjoy life with your wife and kids, and the kids are doing fine and will soon graduate and have a life of their own. The problem is that your brothers and sisters who are living a secured life are disappointed with you, so with your parents. Your a pain-in-the-ass and at times a parasite to them, but you know that there are times when you just run out of alternative and have to ask for their help in order to get things through. So they say they worry about you but sometimes words meant to advise hurt because indeed you are what they say you are. But is that really a problem ? You feel hurt but those words were really meant to hurt to wake you up about the situation you're in. You only hope that maybe if they'd only understand the situation they would have said those things. Just stop fooling your self, the money they gave to help you was hard-earned and were meant for them, - you caused them a problem and you have to take the hurt. You thanked them with all you heart but they still aren't convinced, so it no longer becomes your problem if they can't feel your sincerity.
The point I am trying to make is that there really is no problem that truly exist in this world. There are problems but there are also real problems - but once you are able able to connect your self with your God there is no problem, only test of will and test of faith that will only give you the clues on which dots comes next. I am at a lost on how to explain the things I wanted to say - you need to experience how it is -to be on the ropes receiving all the blows directed on you and survive to fight another round. That's when the real excitement begins ...
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
XIII. IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING ...he
THE OLD MAN IN THE RIVER
One day a young went fishing. He has all the top of the line fishing equiptments
and picked a good spot to throw his fishing hook. A few moments later an old man came down by the river, started to look around for a good spot and started fishing under the shade of tree. Three hours and the old man had a basket full of fish while the young have only caught a few. Sundown came and the young man decided to call it a day with only a handful of fish to bring home.
A week later the young man came earlier and occupied the spot where the old man sat a week ago and started to fish. An hour later the old man came, again looked around and picked a spot near a big rock. Sundown came and the old man again had a basket full of catch while the young could only come up with half a dozen fish. He wondered why and resolved to ask the old man next time how he was able to come up with a better catch.
The next week when the old man came down the river he politely asked the old man how come he always catch more fish despite having inferior fishing rod. The old man smiled and said - " That's because you came here looking for the fish. Me before I pick a spot I look for the birds. They have keener eyes than we do and they can clearly beneath the waters where the fishes stays. "
The moral lesson of the story is that if you want answers, try asking the people who have a keener knowledge of the topic. It's okay if you don't if you don't know everything, it doesn't make you less of a man if you go down your high horse and start asking for direction so you wouldn't lose your way.
This reminded me of another story of another blond girl who bought several books on how to go ice fishing. Thinking that she knew everything there is to know she bought all the equipments needed to go ice fishing. The next week she picked a spot, and was about to dig through the ice when she heard a voice - "These is no fish under the ice "
She packed up and picked another spot and again about to break the ice when again she heard a voice - " There is no fish under the ice ". She decided to try again but again she heard the voice so she asked - " Is that you, Lord ? ". Again she heard the voice, " No I am not the Lord. I am the maintenance man and you're in a skating rink ! "
One day a young went fishing. He has all the top of the line fishing equiptments
and picked a good spot to throw his fishing hook. A few moments later an old man came down by the river, started to look around for a good spot and started fishing under the shade of tree. Three hours and the old man had a basket full of fish while the young have only caught a few. Sundown came and the young man decided to call it a day with only a handful of fish to bring home.
A week later the young man came earlier and occupied the spot where the old man sat a week ago and started to fish. An hour later the old man came, again looked around and picked a spot near a big rock. Sundown came and the old man again had a basket full of catch while the young could only come up with half a dozen fish. He wondered why and resolved to ask the old man next time how he was able to come up with a better catch.
The next week when the old man came down the river he politely asked the old man how come he always catch more fish despite having inferior fishing rod. The old man smiled and said - " That's because you came here looking for the fish. Me before I pick a spot I look for the birds. They have keener eyes than we do and they can clearly beneath the waters where the fishes stays. "
The moral lesson of the story is that if you want answers, try asking the people who have a keener knowledge of the topic. It's okay if you don't if you don't know everything, it doesn't make you less of a man if you go down your high horse and start asking for direction so you wouldn't lose your way.
This reminded me of another story of another blond girl who bought several books on how to go ice fishing. Thinking that she knew everything there is to know she bought all the equipments needed to go ice fishing. The next week she picked a spot, and was about to dig through the ice when she heard a voice - "These is no fish under the ice "
She packed up and picked another spot and again about to break the ice when again she heard a voice - " There is no fish under the ice ". She decided to try again but again she heard the voice so she asked - " Is that you, Lord ? ". Again she heard the voice, " No I am not the Lord. I am the maintenance man and you're in a skating rink ! "
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