"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but staying down."- quoted by Mary Pickford."
Considered as the "Queen of the movies, the most popular Canadian-American actress of the silent movie era (1910-1920), never wavered and won herself the second Academy Award for Best Actress for her first sound movie. She did not regain her popularity afterwards, mainly due to her age, but became one of the most influential figure in Hollywood partnering with Charlie Chaplin to produce their own films.
Its not easy to be looked down upon by people close to you, especially your own family. All of them have found financial security while I remained in the dumps. We did screw up some 20 years ago losing everything we've worked for, but since then we've never stopped trying. Though I appreciate every help I received, with 5 kids in tow, and not much profit earned from our business, we still have to make some sort of a headway. I could have opted for a different kind of business, one that rakes in more money, but that would mean abandoning a dream. The book business we started was more than just a livelihood for us, its the only thing I know that leave a mark, some kind of a legacy for my kids to remember me by, and something that had made my life useful for those who shared the same passion, wanting to open doors to find that "something" within them that too could provide them some answers they've been searching for.
Its kind'a hard to explain, that I am right in a place where I have always wanted to be. Maybe there are something we could "fix" in our life, like for example our lack of financial security. There are a lot of things money could buy, and sometimes its hard to keep happiness within one's home without food on the table. In a few more months, two more kids are about to graduate leaving only my youngest with 3 more years in college. Good paying jobs awaits my 2 kids so a great part of our financial needs will be met. But that's as far as I go - they have a life of their own, we've done our part, - then we can move on to "fix" the mess we made.
Maybe we were a bit late, unable to catch up for now but we are heading the same direction. Our vehicle were just a bit slow and we took some detours while on our way, but at least I can tell them that the travel have been worthwhile. It just so happen that I was driving, lost my way several times, but the drive have been interesting and I just like to leave a trail so others won't lose their way. Sorry for being a poor driver. All I can say is that even when I encountered a lot of bumps and flat tires, I never lost hope and I kept on going. And if ever I am not able to reach the right destination, I am sure my kids will take over.
The only good thing about being misunderstood is you get to understand yourself better. You know they meant well but somehow you have to distance yourself from them. Its hard to explain that we're just different ... We too like to go to where they are but have to travel via different route. We too like to communicate, but we are unsure of what to say and where to start. And we have to understand that sometimes some fruits fall far from the tree and end up some place else, but it doesn't mean that it would taste differently.
Time heals all wounds, seeds begin to sprout, become trees and then bear their own fruits. They may take roots in different grounds and different places, but they all can be traced from the same origin.
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